You must set the wedding date and time as soon as possible, to see if your church or temple is available on the date you have chosen. You may also be considering a religious ceremony in a location other than your place of worship, yet this too, must be discussed and approved by your clergyman. If you and your fiance have different religious backgrounds, you may be allowed to have a clergy member from each as a part of your marriage ceremony--or simply combine ideas from both religions. Meet with the minister or rabbi to make these arrangements and to discuss pre-nuptial counseling. Be sure to find out during your first meeting with the clergyman if there are any restrictions in the church or synagogue regarding its' use.

A Few Important Questions to Ask:

• What time will the church be open before my wedding?
• Will the minister and the church be available for a wedding rehearsal?
• May we compose our own wedding vows?
• What decorations are allowed in the church? (candelabras, knee cushion, flowers, aisle runners, etc)
• Are there rules concerning music selections and instruments?
• May we hire our own musicians?
• Are there any restrictions on photographers or videographers?
• Is there a church wedding director, or may I bring my own?
• What fees should we be prepared to pay and when are these fees due?

The groom traditionally pays the clergy. The check should be made to the clergy, not the church, and be paid on or before the ceremony. When determining the clergy honorarium, remember the amount of time he or she has spent in counseling, ceremony preparation, rehearsal and the ceremony itself. The clergyperson is a professional and should receive a professional's compensation for the time working with you. Any other fees for the use of the church, the church hall, the organist, soloist, director and janitorial help are separate from the clergy honorarium. The clergy and spouse are sent an invitation to the wedding and reception. Other paid individuals who provide services are not sent invitations unless they are friends, and you would normally invite them to the wedding as guests. If you are choosing a non-traditional wedding location, (your home, a hotel or historical site), you may also be looking for a minister to help you plan your own ceremony, and provide a blessing on the marriage, your family and your friends. Visit our Chapel and Clergy resources.