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Bride Brain — What It Is and What To Do About It

Brides, when you’re down to the 30-days-and-counting point of wedding planning, you may notice your brain is no longer functioning. Decisions will be difficult. Your patience will be thrown out the window. Your to-do list will seem insurmountable, and you will spend hours that should be spent sleeping running every detail over and over again in your mind until you literally drive yourself crazy. Don’t fret — you’re not losing your marbles, you’ve got a case of bride brain.

Bride brain is what happens when the months and months of planning and micromanaging every detail of your big day put your brain into overdrive, and it responds by shutting down.

Bride Brain

For me, this happened about three weeks before my wedding. I’m a natural worrier, but an incredibly detail-oriented, organized one. However, once I hit the three-week mark, it was like a switch had been flipped. I sent rambling emails to our vendors that abruptly started and ended without any real content or purpose. I bombarded my soon-to-be husband with questions the moment he woke up — “Have you told your groomsmen what time they need to arrive at the venue? What if they’re late? Do they know they can’t be late?!” I don’t think we talked about anything non wedding-related for at least ten days leading up to the wedding. Poor guy. I spent countless hours worrying about minor — but seemingly important — details. We were planning on tying our programs to woven fans that would be placed in each seat at the ceremony, buy had nothing to tie them with — no ribbons, no twine, no nothing. The idea was later scrapped because then, after our guests untied the program from the fan, what would they do with the ribbon? Seem like a crazy thing to stress about and overanalyze? Yep…bride brain.

I tried to combat my case of bride brain by writing everything — every single tiny thing — down. I am a list maker by nature, but this was extreme. This actually ended up stressing me out even more because of the sheer volume of things I thought I needed to get done.

Sound familiar? Here are some things you can do to avoid letting bride brain take over:

1. Make a master to-do list.
If you know you’re a natural worrier, and planning such a large-scale event makes your stomach writhe, make a timeline that has you completing all things wedding-related a month prior to the date. Some things, like seating charts, may need to be put off a little to allow your guests’ RSVPs to come in, but you can knock out most of the big stuff ahead of time so that you aren’t scrambling at the last minute. Remember to be realistic about your expectations, though, or else you’ll just stress yourself further.

2. Stop looking at Pinterest and bridal blogs.
Just stop. You’ll see projects you think are so amazing that you just have to squeeze them in last minute, but you can’t. Don’t create unnecessary stress for yourself by taking on more than you need to. Just say no — you’ve got enough on your hands already.

3. Hire a planner.
If your wedding is less than a month away, think about hiring a day-of coordinator. They’ll help you get everything organized, including the dreaded wedding-weekend timeline, and take some of the to-dos off your plate. If you’re experiencing early onset bride brain and have several months (or more!) before your wedding, look into hiring a full-service event planner. Doing this saved my sanity. Though I still had a case of bride brain, I can’t imagine what my mental state would have looked like without my planner — she was amazing! I would literally send her rambling emails of a list of all the things I was stressing about at any given moment and she’d calmly respond that she would take care of it and that I should enjoy being a bride-to-be. Look into SB&G’s recommended wedding planners, they are so, so worth factoring into your budget.

4. Remember that, at the end of the day, if you and your fiancé are husband and wife, everything went perfectly.
No one except you will notice if your officiant changes a few words around, or if your cake cutting and bouquet toss are switched around to accommodate a minor hiccup. My wedding day had the highest rainfall total of the entire summer, people changed seats during our plated dinner, and my bustle just would not stay secured throughout the reception, so it got absolutely filthy. And it’s ok! The day was still perfect…our guests are still raving about it! So trust me, your guests won’t know if a little detail goes wrong, and you shouldn’t waste the best day of your life stressing over it — it’s just not worth it.

Looking back, the planning process (as stressful as I made it) passed so, so quickly — try to enjoy it. Try to soak up every single moment. This is the only time in your life you’ll be planning such a monumental event, so revel in the process, in being a bride-to-be.

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